She later became my crush from middle school through high school, from recess to her being crowned homecoming queen. I was around 8 at the time, and I chose the prettiest girl I knew. I remember one birthday my mother made me invite a girl because I invited all boys to my party. At one time, I really wanted to be a boy. I loved cap guns, waterguns, playing dodgeball and basketball, riding my Dyno bike and collecting Pogs and Slammers. I preferred boy clothing, Adidas jackets, shoes, etc. After I joined my first soccer team at the age of 6, I fell in love with the sport and competition. My younger years were afternoons spent playing with Barbies, dolls and The Little Mermaid. I had a straight friend of mine say to me once, 'I am shocked you use the word 'homosexual,' that's the clinical definition and I heard you guys don't like that.' No, I just don't like the word 'lesbian' – it reminds me of a lizard or reptile of some kind.

It is a narrow path all its own, and it's one I felt I had to walk alone. I never thought that one day I would share this experience with anyone, since being a homosexual has been one of the most lonely life experiences at times. My name is Tab, I am a 26-year old woman living in Saint Louis, MO.

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